Kirby's Live Magic Show!
by tikitikirevenge
Summary: Kirby 'magically' performs vanishing acts and other amazing tricks on stage. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to – Kirby's Live Magic Show!" shouted Kirby, waving to the TV cameras. "Inside this live studio, I'm going to show you all the amazing world of magic, and perform some amazing tricks!"

The live studio audience, filled with hundreds of people, cheered.

"Okay," said Kirby. "First, I'd like to remind the people watching from their TVs that there aren't any weird CGI tricks or stuff going on. A _live audience_ is watching! This is _real magic_!" He winked at the camera.

Nothing happened.

Belatedly, the bright neon 'LAUGH REAL HARD PLZ' sign flashed on above Kirby's head, out of range of the camera. The audience laughed.

"Right!" said Kirby. "Okay… I'd just like to ask for a volunteer for this first trick!"

Every single person in the audience put their hands up.

"Ooh," said Kirby. "I don't know who to choose."

Everyone waited eagerly.

"Seriously," said Kirby. "Does anyone have a coin or something?"

The audience laughed.

"I'm not joking," said Kirby.

The audience laughed.

Kirby sighed and walked to the side of the stage, and pulled the 'laughing gas' switch to 'OFF'.

Kirby walked back to the front of the stage.

"Right," said Kirby. "Does anyone have a coin?"

"Yoshi!" (_I do!_) shouted Yoshi, running up onto stage.

"Right," said Kirby. "I'll now use this coin to choose a random audience member…"

Kirby looked at Yoshi.

Kirby looked at the coin.

Kirby looked at Yoshi.

"…who just happens to be Yoshi!" said Kirby. "Right! My first trick is the amazing Eating Act!"

"Yoshi?" (_What?_)

"Vanishing Act. I meant Vanishing Act," said Kirby.

The audience cheered.

"Okay," said Kirby, trying to snap his fingers, and then realising he didn't have any fingers. "Uh, prop!"

Some Koopas and some Waddle Dees dragged a garbage can onto the stage.

"Observe the trash bin," said Kirby, pointing to the bin.

"Yoshi hosh yoshi?" (_Do I get in?_)

"Exactly," said Kirby. "Audience, Yoshi is going to climb into – the Bin Of Vanishynessiness!"

The audience gasped in shock.

"Get ready to be shocked," warned Kirby.

The audience got ready to be shocked.

Yoshi climbed into the trash can.

"Now I shall magically make Yoshi disappear!" said Kirby.

Kirby climbed into the trash can.

Kirby climbed out of the trash can.

"Look – it's empty!" said Kirby, tipping the can over so that everyone could see that Yoshi had disappeared. He did a cute little bow.

The audience clapped and cheered.

"Right!" said Kirby. "For my next trick, I shall turn this piano into a frog!"

Silence.

"I _said_," said Kirby, "turn this piano into a frog."

Nothing happened.

"Piano…" said Kirby.

A bunch of Koopa Troopas wheeled a piano onto stage.

"A round of applause for the piano, please!" said Kirby politely.

Everyone cheered for the piano.

"And now to make the piano turn into a frog!" said Kirby.

The spotlight suddenly went out. A few seconds later, it turned on again. The piano was gone.

"ZOMG!" gasped the audience.

"Hey, where's the frog?" yelled someone in the audience.

"Oops," said Kirby. He quickly ran backstage and then back onstage, now holding a frog in his hand.

The audience held their breaths, waiting.

"Tada!" said Kirby.

The audience cheered furiously.

"Right!" said Kirby. "Well, I have more exciting and magical tricks up my sleeve – wait, I don't have a sleeve!"

The audience was silent.

Kirby sighed, walked to the side of the stage and flipped the 'laughing gas' switch to 'ON'. He walked back to the middle of the stage.

"I have more tricks up my sleeve," said Kirby, "but wait – I don't have a sleeve!"

The audience laughed.

"But first, the TV stations have to cut to an ad break!" finished Kirby.

"Ad break!" yelled a technician from offstage.

Kirby looked at the frog in his hand.

"Thought I couldn't eat you during my act, eh?" he said.

The frog somehow screamed in terror.

It was going to be a good show.

* * *

A/N: Read and review, or at least review. 


	2. Chapter 2

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"Welcome back to Kirby's Magic Show!" said Kirby, doing a little bow.

"We never left!" shouted some random idiot in the audience.

"Shut up, random idiot!" snapped Kirby. He turned back to the cameras, smiling. "So… next trick!"

The audience cheered.

"I'm going to need another volunteer," said Kirby. "Preferably someone big and juicy… I mean, big and… uh… Jessie."

Donkey Kong practically ran onto stage, waving at the cameras.

"Hi there, DK!" said Kirby brightly. "Are you ready for this next trick?"

"Yup," said DK. "What is it?"

"By the way, this is Donkey Kong!" said Kirby, looking at the audience. "He's another Smash Bros. person thingamajig!"

The audience clapped appreciatively.

"OK, DK," said Kirby. "Wait… OK… DK… that rhymes!"

"You're right, it does!" said DK.

"I wonder what that could mean," said Kirby.

"So do I," said DK.

"Anyway," said Kirby, "for my next trick, I'm going to make Donkey Kong turn invisible!"

"Wow!" said DK.

"Cool!" said the audience, all together, at the exact same time, which was really freaky.

Kirby pulled out a big top hat and put it on his head.

"Right," he said. "For this trick to work, I'm going to use a special… uh, very mystical item."

The audience waited in anticipation.

"It's a magic blanket!" shouted Kirby, pulling out a white sheet.

"Wow!" said the people in the audience at the exact same time.

"Woah!" said DK.

"Now, DK," said Kirby, "when I put this blanket over you, you'll turn invisible. Are you ready?"

"Um, yeah, yes I am," said Donkey Kong.

"Great!" said Kirby.

Kirby threw the blanket on top of Donkey Kong.

"Are you still there?" said Kirby.

"Yep," said DK.

"Get ready to be bedazzled," Kirby said to the huge audience.

Everyone got ready to be bedazzled.

Kirby ducked under the blanket, and pulled it off.

Everyone gasped. They couldn't see Donkey Kong any more!

"Don't worry, folks, he's just invisible!" said Kirby.

The audience burst into applause.

"Are you sure he's still there?" said someone in the front row.

"Yup," said Kirby. "Are you still there, DK?"

Kirby cupped his hands over his mouth.

"Sure am… Kirby," said a voice – was it Donkey Kong's voice?

Kirby put his hands down.

"What's being invisible like, DK?" said Kirby.

Kirby cupped his hands again.

"It's real… uh… invisible and… and cool and stuff," said the invisible voice of DK. "It's almost as exciting as eating lots of people!"

Kirby put his hands down and turned to the audience, his hand pointing at thin air.

"There you have it, folks!" said Kirby. "DK is now invisible!"

Everyone cheered really loudly for Kirby's amazing trick.

"Can you make him visible again?" said some other person in the front row.

"No!" said Kirby really quickly.

Silence.

"Because, uh, it just wears off after a couple of hours," said Kirby really slowly.

The audience nodded in understanding, with a few 'ah's and 'oh's.

"Next trick… after the break!" said Kirby.

The audience cheered.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"The break is over!" announced Kirby. This was wholly unnecessary, as the people in the audience would have noticed the huge flashing neon signs around the stage saying 'THE BREAK IS OVER', and the people watching on TV would probably have guessed by using their ninja detective skills.

The audience cheered anyway, because Kirby was the most amazing real magician ever.

"For my next trick," said Kirby, "I shall pull a rabbit out of a hat!"

Kirby took his hat off.

Kirby went backstage, and dragged a rabbit back onstage.

Kirby stuffed the rabbit into the hat. It screamed in agony.

Kirby pulled the rabbit out of the hat.

The audience clapped.

"And just to show how amazing I am," said Kirby, "I'll put the rabbit _back in_!"

Kirby pushed the rabbit back in.

"You're going straight to the oven," Kirby whispered, tossing the rabbit backstage.

"For my next trick," said Kirby, "I'm going to need a human-sized volunteer. Like Marth."

"I'll-a do it," offered Luigi.

"I said like _Marth_," said Kirby, annoyed.

Marth walked onstage, waving to the audience. All the conveniently-placed rabid fangirls cheered.

"That's right," said Kirby. "I'm going to saw Marth in half!"

The audience cheered even louder.

"Cool," said Marth. "So do I step into a box or something?"

"Actually," said Kirby, "a box is a little bit, uh, kleshed. I mean, clee-shed. Clichéd? Point is, I thought I'd try something a bit different."

"So?" said Marth.

"Drum roll," said Kirby.

Above the stage, a Koopa dragged a boulder onto a timpani and let it roll around.

"I'm going to cut Marth in half – not while he's in a box where you can't see him – but in a huge, human-sized, pre-sliced bread roll!" announced Kirby.

The audience gasped. What an audacious trick!

A huge bread roll was pushed onto stage, neatly cut into two pieces.

"Okay," said Marth eagerly. "By the way, Kirby, you're fantastic!"

"Compliments later," said Kirby modestly. "I'm hungry. I mean, I'm impatient to get this trick started."

Marth lay down on one of the half bread-rolls. Kirby walked over, took the other half bread-roll, and put it on top of Marth. It could be called a Marth sandwich, really, except that associating anything in this story with the very act of eating is just stupid. So just Marth-in-a-bread-roll.

"Exciting, isn't it?" said Kirby in a stage whisper.

The audience all made a lot of noise in assent.

"Okay!" said Kirby, pulling out a large saw from behind his back. "It's time!"

Huge cheers from the crowd.

Kirby started sawing at the huge bread roll.

"I don't know about this," said Marth, suddenly looking a bit worried.

"Don't worry," said Kirby. "You're in good hands."

Kirby continued to saw at the bread roll.

"Ow," said Marth. "That hurt."

"Just part of the trick," said Kirby, continuing to saw.

The audience watched with bated breaths.

"Seriously," said Marth. "It feels like I've been slashed across the stomach with a sword."

"It's just an illusion," Kirby whispered. "Don't scream or you'll look silly."

"Oh, okay," said Marth, smiling.

Kirby continued to saw.

The audience watched as Kirby pushed the saw all the way through. He had sliced the bread roll in half!

"Is Marth okay?" gasped some over-anxious lady in the audience.

"Yes," said Kirby, "he's just swell. Aren't you, Marth?"

Silence.

"He said yes," said Kirby.

The crowd gave a standing ovation to Kirby, lasting a whole hour.

"Thank you, thank you," said Kirby, bowing.

Red stuff started dripping out of the bread roll.

"Oops," said Kirby, walking over to the side of the stage and flicking off the huge main light switch.

The lights went out, and the audience gasped in panic.

"OH NOES! MURDER!" shouted some over-excitable dude.

The lights went on, and the audience sighed in relief.

"Temporary power failure," said Kirby.

The audience nodded knowingly.

"Hey, where's Marth gone?" called someone.

Everyone else looked at the stage. The bread roll with Marth in it was gone! What had happened?

"Oh, uh," said Kirby, "he, uh, went back to Altea. And, uh, took the bread roll with him. He's sorry he didn't get to say goodbye."

"Oh," said lots of people in the audience. The Fire Emblem fangirls ran off to Altea to get a picture of themselves taken with Marth.

"Well," said Kirby, wiping a bit of blue hair from his mouth, "it looks like that's all we have time for before the people sponsoring this show bombard you with sensationalistic advertising! I hope you all enjoy the ads or stuff!"

* * *

The great Tiki demands human sacrifices. Or reviews. Reviews taste like young maidens, and are more nutritious.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"For my next trick-" said Kirby.

"Hey," said someone in the audience, "aren't you supposed to say 'welcome back' first?"

"Yeah, well, I guess," said Kirby.

"Sooo…" said the audience.

"Welcome back to Kirby's live magic show!" said Kirby.

The audience cheered as the TV cameras panned around them. A random dude in the audience was eating cheese-flavoured corn chips. Kirby ran into the audience, mauled the dude to death, took his chips, ate them, and dashed back onstage.

"For my next trick-" said Kirby.

"Hey," said the exact same someone in the audience, "aren't you supposed to say 'welcome back' first?"

"Lousy short term memory loss people," said Kirby.

"I'm just a heckler," said the guy.

"Ah," said Kirby. "Well, heckle this!"

Kirby threw a sample of Marth's hair at the guy. He was immediately crushed by the weight of a gazillion fangirls diving on top of him.

"Suck," laughed Kirby.

The audience had a bit of a chuckle at the dying guy's expense.

"Anyway," said Kirby, "For my next trick, I'm going to hypnotise someone!"

"Cool!" said some people.

"I need a volunteer," said Kirby. "Remember, if you volunteer, you'll get to be seen on TV-"

Captain Falcon practically flew onto the stage.

"I'm up for it, _dudes_!" he shouted to the audience.

Nobody cheered, gave a standing ovation, chanted Captain Falcon's name, or screamed 'have my babies'.

"Aw, I was hoping for the last one," said Captain Falcon.

"So," said Kirby.

"Hey, do you get to date chicks while you're onstage?" said Captain Falcon. "I'm a magnet to women. They just can't resist me!"

"Uh, kay," said Kirby. "Anyway, I'm going to hypnotise Captain Falcon!"

The audience cheered. They knew they should cheer because a neon sign saying 'cheer' appeared above the stage.

"Okay," said Captain Falcon.

Kirby leaned over to Captain Falcon and whispered, "If I make this trick work, you'll be really popular with women."

"Including Samus and Zelda and Peach?" whispered Captain Falcon.

"Peach… must not think about that…" said Kirby, turning around. "Okay, people! Are you ready to be impressed?" he shouted.

"NO!" the audience shouted back.

"Well, get ready to be impressed!" shouted Kirby.

"OKAY!" the audience shouted back.

Kirby pulled out a Star Rod and started waving it in front of Captain Falcon's face.

"You are getting sleepy…" said Kirby.

"Not really," said Captain Falcon, staring at the Star Rod.

"You are getting sleepy _and_ popular with girls…" said Kirby.

"Sleepy…" said Captain Falcon.

"You will play along…" said Kirby.

"Yes…" said Captain Falcon.

"You are getting sleeeeepy," said Kirby.

"Yes," said Captain Falcon.

"You are getting sleeeeeeeeepy," said Kirby.

"Yes," said Captain Falcon.

"YOU ARE _SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY!_" shouted Kirby.

"Yes!" shouted Captain Falcon.

"Uh, lift your arm up," said Kirby.

C. Falcon shrugged and lifted his arm up.

"I have hypnotised him!" proclaimed Kirby.

The audience cheered in amazement.

"Well," said Kirby, "for the finale of the hypnotise-y thing, I'm going to convince him to walk into – the mouth of a lion!"

"What?" said C. Falcon, looking worried.

"You are still… under my command… remember…" said Kirby to Captain Falcon.

"Right," said C. Falcon. "I am… er… hypnotised… really… not faking…"

"Now, this is perfectly safe," said Kirby. "Captain Falcon, when the lion comes onstage, you will walk… into its mouth…"

"But…" said C. Falcon.

"And then… you will have… many fangirls…" said Kirby.

"Into its mouth," repeated C. Falcon.

The audience gasped and whispered among themselves in anticipation.

"Just going to get the lion!" called Kirby, striding off stage left.

The audience waited impatiently. C. Falcon flexed his muscles in order to improve his reputation while he waited.

Suddenly, with a loud bang and lots of smoke machines, the lion appeared on stage!

It was hard to describe how scary the lion was – it looked so weird! Okay, I'll try. It was a really round lion, almost perfectly spherical in shape. Unlike normal lions, it walked on two little feet. It was kind of cute, too. But it was clearly dangerous, as the red mane showed. Still having trouble imagining what it looked like? Try picturing Kirby, but covered in yellow paint and wearing a Roy wig. The lion looked kind of like that.

"Uh, I guess I walk into its mouth, then," said C. Falcon.

Silence.

The lion opened its mouth.

Captain Falcon walked into the lion's mouth.

The lion closed its mouth and ran offstage.

Kirby ran back onto stage.

"Tada!" he said, his arms spread wide.

The audience cheered more loudly than anything you could imagine. It was amazing.

"Right," said Kirby. "Don't worry," said Kirby, "Captain Falcon is quite safe." Pause. "Uh, it took ages to tame that lion. Isn't that amazing?"

"YES!" shouted all the people in the audience.

"Right!" said Kirby. "Well, it looks as if the TV station is taking a break. Uh, don't leave or anything."

The audience didn't leave or anything.

"Oh, good," said Kirby, feeling a bit better.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"Right!" said Kirby. "Welcome back to Kirby's Magic Show – or should I say, my Magic Show!"

A couple of people in the audience laughed uncertainly.

Kirby walked over to the side of the stage, and checked the 'Laughing Gas' switch. It was on.

"That's funny," said Kirby. "Uh… Kirby's Magic Show – that is, my Magic Show!"

The audience didn't really laugh.

Kirby walked backstage, pulled out the empty laughing gas cylinder, and replaced it with a full tank.

Kirby walked back onstage.

"Kirby's Magic Show?" said Kirby. "More like, _my_ magic show!"

The audience roared with laughter.

"Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week," said Kirby, taking a little bow.

The audience cheered.

"Right!" said Kirby. "My next trick is going to be a quick one, because I need time to prepare for the next one, which is absolutely _huge_ in scale. You'll all be blown away."

The audience waited.

"Okay," said Kirby, "I need a volunteer to step into the vanishing cabinet!"

Lots of people put their hands up.

"I _said,_" said Kirby, annoyed, "the vanishing cabinet!"

He waved his arms, and a few stagehands wheeled a cabinet onstage. It looked as if it had been stolen from IKEA. Which obviously wasn't true, as Kirby was too chic for IKEA.

Kirby pointed at a random audience member, who climbed onto stage.

"Hi," said the person, who was some random teenager dressed up as a Yoshi.

"And who exactly are you?" said Kirby.

"I'm the world's number one Yoshi fan!" said the kid, jumping up and down.

"Oooooo-kay," said Kirby. He shoved the volunteer into the vanishing cabinet.

The audience waited.

"Uh, insert something witty here," said Kirby.

The audience laughed because they were now inhaling pure laughing gas.

Kirby opened the vanishing cabinet.

The volunteer was still there.

"Oops," said Kirby, stepping inside the cabinet and closing the door behind him.

The audience held their breaths in anticipation, and because they'd choke on laughing gas otherwise.

Kirby stepped out of the cabinet. The volunteer was gone.

"Yay!" prompted Kirby.

"YAY!" screamed the audience.

"Uh, ad break," said Kirby.

Ka-bang.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"It's Kirby's Magic Show again!" shouted Kirby.

But the audience was just cheering _too loud_. Frown.

"Oh, dear," said Kirby rather sadly. "What now?"

The audience stopped cheering and settled down again.

"Okay!" said Kirby. "For my next trick, I'm going to try something a bit larger in scale."

"LIKE?" shouted everyone in the audience simultaneously.

"Uh… I could try making a person vanish," said Kirby, "but that would be too easy."

The audience laughed, because their blood was now saturated with laughing gas.

"Instead," said Kirby, "I'm going to make an entire _block_ of the audience disappear!"

"Woah!" gasped all of the people, imagining what that would look like.

"Okay," said Kirby. "I need time to prepare…"

Some dramatic music started playing over the speakers.

"Okay!" said Kirby. He pointed to the leftmost block of seats, which was packed full. "I'm going to make _all those people_ disappear!"

The audience waited eagerly.

"Okay," said Kirby. "To make the magic work, I'm going to need you all to _close your eyes_, okay?"

"OKEY!" misspelled the audience members, sounding really excited about this.

Kirby nodded happily. "Same for the people watching on TV. If _anyone_, _anywhere_ doesn't close their eyes, not only will the trick not work – but we'll all suddenly die!"

Everyone gasped in shock. Now they were definitely going to close their eyes!

"Close your eyes…" said Kirby.

Everyone closed their eyes.

"Notice that you can't hear anything," said Kirby quickly. "That means that these aren't all people in on the act who are walking out. It's real magic!"

The audience all murmured in understanding, their eyes still closed.

Silence.

Suddenly, a loud noise that sounded like a gust of wind echoed through the venue.

Silence.

"Okay," said Kirby, "you can open your eyes now."

All around the world, people opened their eyes – and that block of the audience was gone!

Everyone roared in applause.

"Wow," said someone in the audience, "that really is magic!"

"Where's mommy?" said someone else in the audience.

"Right!" said Kirby. "I'm afraid that that's all we have time before the ad break!"

"NUEEEEE!" screamed the audience in fear.

But then the end of the chapter was upon them.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"For my next trick… I mean, welcome back!" said Kirby.

The audience laughed at the hilarity of it all, then started choking on laughing gas, and rolling on the floor, coughing, and laughing.

"Looks like you're all enjoying the show!" said Kirby, winking.

The audience laughed even harder. Several people lost consciousness.

"My next trick," said Kirby, "is even more exciting than all the others!"

"Really?" said lots of people, unable to discern how this could possibly be so.

"Yep!" said Kirby. "My next trick – drum roll, please…"

The Koopa rolling the drum broke the drum, and instead banged some sticks on a cello.

"…I'm going to make an entire block of the audience… _invisible_!"

"WOAH!" shouted all the audience in amazement.

"That's amazing!" said a man.

"That's phenomenal!" shouted a woman.

"Sounds _awesome_!" said a boy.

"Yay! Inwisible!" screamed a girl.

"Woof!" barked a dog (gotta cover all the demographics, right?).

Kirby bowed. "That's right!" he said, "this is the most amazingest trick ever performed! Ever!"

"It's all a sham!" shouted someone.

"What?" said Kirby, looking shocked.

"I said, it's all a hoax! Kirby's not doing real magic at all!" called the voice again.

"Hey!" said Kirby angrily. "That's a lie! A big, ripe, juicy lie… mmm… lies… good with sugar… but a lie nonetheless! Who said that?"

Someone above stage waved a spotlight over the audience, until it shone upon someone waving arms.

"What the-?" said Kirby. It was Ness!

"I've had enough!" said Ness, walking from his seat and up to the stage. The crowd sat in shell-shocked silence.

"What do you mean, Ness?" said Kirby, looking angry.

"I've sat through the rest of this show, and it's atrocious!" said Ness. "Do you really think you can get away with this?"

"Uh… uh…" said Kirby, "er… um… hmm… _what_ on _earth_ are you _on_ about, Ness? Have you gone _out_ of your _mind_?"

"No," said Ness.

"Uh, oh," said Kirby.

"I know your secret," whispered Ness.

"Uh… please don't tell anyone," whispered Kirby.

"I'm going to tell _everyone_," whispered Ness.

"Uh… don't I get a chance to bribe you or something?" said Kirby.

"Well…" said Ness, thinking.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" screamed someone in the audience, in capitals.

"Nothing important!" shouted Kirby, to the audience and the cameras.

The millions or billions of people watching in the audience and on TV waited patiently.

"Okay," said Ness. "You must be making a lot of money from this. Just give me a lot of it, and I'll keep quiet."

"Hey!" said Kirby. "You can't make me do that!"

"Yes, I can," said Ness. "What you're doing is cruel and inhumane, so it should be real expensive! Why do you need the money, anyway?"

"Uh… not for food…" said Kirby.

Ness sighed. "Well, then, I'll just reveal the secret to your 'magic' to everyone, then…"

"Wait!" said Kirby. "Okay, okay, you win."

Looking glum, Kirby walked to the side of the stage, and pulled the 'laughing gas' switch off.

"Give me the money now," said Ness.

"NEVER!" yelled Kirby, pulling off the switch labelled 'Master Switch'.

All the lights plunged out and a few people yelped in fear as everyone in the stadium was plunged into darkness.

A couple of people started looking at star constellations.

"What's going on?" shouted someone.

"I don't know!" shouted someone else.

"No, Kirby! I'm sorry! _I'm sorry…_!" shouted someone else.

"Ika pi chupik kapichu?" shouted someone else.

The lights all suddenly came back on. Kirby was still there, standing on the stage, smiling at the audience.

"What happened?" shouted Link from the audience.

"Oh," said Kirby, "just a power short. It's all okay now."

"Where's Ness?" asked Falco.

"Uh…" said Kirby, "he… uh… wanted…"

Kirby thought for a moment.

"Ness asked me to," he said finally, "so I sent him back in time to the Renaissance, where he could learn the, uh, Philosophy of, erm, Crayon Drawing."

"You can do-a time travel?" gasped some random idiot wearing an 'I Love Link' T-shirt.

"Of course," said Kirby. "I'm a magician!"

The entire audience and all the viewers around the world all rose in a single, massive standing ovation.

"Yay!" said Kirby.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**KIRBY'S LIVE MAGIC SHOW!**

* * *

"One final trick!" said Kirby.

The audience didn't respond for the most part, as they were now suffering from laughing gas withdrawal.

Kirby waited a few minutes.

Some members of the audience regained consciousness.

"Welcome back to Kirby's Magic Show!" said Kirby again. "We only have time for one more, final trick!"

"Oh, no!" screamed all of the emotional people.

"It's true, I'm afraid!" nodded Kirby solemnly.

"Oh, horror!" gasped everyone.

"Too true," said Kirby. "But let's go."

Kirby drew in a deep breath, and then shouted into the microphone – "For my final trick – the Awesome Ultimate Teleportation Act!"

"WOAH!1" gasped the audience.

"Is that not simply _amazing_?" Kirby asked of the audience.

"IT IS!" the audience shouted back.

"Now, this is a made for TV trick," said Kirby. "You see, I can't just do something on such a large scale without a worldwide audience watching!"

"YEAH!" cheered the audience in agreement.

"This is absolutely going to blow you all away – literally!" said Kirby.

"What?" said Popo.

"Uh, figuratively!" said Kirby.

"Yay!" cheered the audience.

"Now," said Kirby, "this trick is so huge and amazing, it's going to _have_ to be done live on camera! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! If you're not watching the show yet, you'd better tune on now!"

Kirby closed his eyes and counted to ten.

"Okay!" he said, beaming. "Cameras, follow me!" Kirby waved an arm towards the side of the stage. "This is going to be _sooo unbelievable_!"

* * *

_Outside…_

Kirby was now outside the stadium where the thousands of people in the audience were housed.

"OKAY!" he shouted into a megaphone. "CAN THE AUDIENCE STILL HEAR ME?"

"_Yes!_" shouted the audience back.

"Right!" said Kirby. "I'm going to finally explain how this last trick is going to work!"

The audience cheered and hollered and other stuff like that.

"I'm going to make the entire _stadium_ teleport!" said Kirby.

Around the world, people gasped in amazingisation-nessment.

"Where are you going to teleport it to?" shouted someone in the crowd. Strangely, everyone could hear it through the walls, possibly because they were really thin and cheap.

"I'm going to teleport the stadium far, far away!" replied Kirby, facing the cameras. "Not like a few centimetres, where you could say I cheated."

The audience all laughed appreciatively and muttered amongst themselves about the hardships of being a magician amidst a world of nasty, mean, cruel, not-very-nice disbelievers.

"Are you all ready for this?" Kirby called.

"YEAH!" screamed the audience.

Actually, Yoshi, who was sitting in the front row, shook his head and said that no, he wasn't ready, but nobody heard him amongst the yells and screams and cheers of the crowd. He then buried his face in his hands and did that "Arararararar…" thing.

"Okay!" said Kirby. "Here we go!"

Kirby dragged up a huge looking piece of cloth.

"I'm going to cover the stadium with this huge bit of cloth!" said Kirby.

"Wow! A _huge bit_!" exclaimed some people.

"That's right!" said Kirby. "Now, uh, to do that…"

Kirby grabbed a corner of the cloth, puffed up his cheeks, and semi-flew his way up to the top of the stadium. He stopped to take a breath, and smiled, looking down at the thousands of people in the stadium. This was going to be great. Then, Kirby turned around, hopped back to the ground, and started to repeat the process.

Kirby grabbed a corner of the cloth, puffed up his cheeks, and semi-flew his way up to the top of the stadium. He stopped to take a breath, and smiled, looking down at the thousands of people in the stadium. This was going to be great. Then, Kirby turned around, hopped back to the ground, and started to repeat the process.

Kirby grabbed a corner of the cloth, puffed up his cheeks, and semi-flew his way up to the top of the stadium. He stopped to take a breath, and smiled, looking down at the thousands of people in the stadium. This was going to be great. Then, Kirby turned around, hopped back to the ground, and started to repeat the process.

Kirby grabbed a corner of the cloth, puffed up his cheeks, and semi-flew his way up to the top of the stadium. He stopped to take a breath, and smiled, looking down at the thousands of people in the stadium. This was going to be great. Then, Kirby turned around, hopped back to the ground, and started to repeat the process.

"Right!" said Kirby. "I hope that wasn't too boring!"

"THAT WAS REALLY EXCITING!" screamed all the people in the audience, whose brains were still saturated with laughing gas and were thus really, really happy about stuff.

"Okay!" said Kirby. "The entire stadium is now covered with a huge bit of cloth!"

"YAY!" cheered the audience.

"And now," said Kirby, "I can perform my magical magic, and teleport the stadium away!"

"_Where are you teleporting us to?_" yelled someone.

"Uh…" said Kirby, "to… uh… the middle of nowhere… uh… in space… where nobody will ever be able to find you again… because that's how amazing my teleportation is!"

"YAY!" cheered the audience.

"Get ready!" said Kirby.

Kirby lifted up a bit of the cloth and ducked under.

All around the Nintendo universe, people held their breaths, waiting to see what would happen.

Suddenly, the cloth, which had moments before been shaped like the stadium, gently began to float to the ground, flattening itself gracefully.

"Woah!" gasped people all around the world. The people in the stadium probably gasped this too, but they'd been teleported, remember?

Kirby crawled out from under the cloth, and walked up to the cameras. "That's it!" said Kirby, lifting his arm in victory.

All around the world, people cheered at the incredibility of it all. Presumably, the people who had been teleported did too, but we don't know for sure.

"Right!" said Kirby. "Well, uh, it looks as if that's it! I hope that everyone enjoyed my little magic show, and, uh, look out for more stuff!"

And with a quick little bow, the cameras were off, and Kirby began the walk back home, feeling very happy and very full.

* * *


End file.
